The Last Kool Cigarette

THE LAST KOOL CIGARETTE: A Noir Novella

Chapter 1: The Package

The Attorney General's office was a fortress of polished mahogany and stacked files, the kind of place where justice was supposed to live but often just collected dust. He was a man of fifty-nine, silver-haired and sharp-eyed, buried in paperwork under the harsh glow of a desk lamp. The day was ordinary, the kind that blended into the next, until the mail arrived.

A clerk dropped a stack on his desk and vanished without a word. Among the envelopes, one package stood out—bulkier, heavier, like it carried secrets. The AG paused, his pen hovering over a form. His eyes flicked to it, curiosity pulling him in. He set the pen down, reached over, and tore it open. Out spilled a letter, photographs, and a junk drive.

He examined them briefly: grainy images of shadowy figures, a handwritten note scribbled in haste. Then he plugged the drive into his computer, clicked an icon. A video file flickered to life.

The screen filled with a grainy image of a man in a dimly lit room, his face etched with weariness. The voice was low, gravelly, like it had seen too many late nights.

"If you are listening to this, I am already dead so don't come looking for me. I am a detective in a corrupt city named Shady Oaks where everything seems to be coming up roses for only a few. I always knew that our city was corrupt but I never truly understood the reason for the corruption and the people behind until the night I was introduced to my new partner. He was a man pure of heart in a city with no soul."

The camera pulled away and upward as the AG leaned in, the words hanging in the air like smoke.

Chapter 2: The Devil's Game

The crime scene was a dingy room in the heart of Shady Oaks, the air thick with the metallic tang of blood and the faint echo of chaos. Four bodies lay sprawled around a table, a game of Sorry frozen in time amid the carnage. Cops milled in the background, flashing lights and murmuring voices investigating the mess.

Franz Nero stood over them, forty-five years old, dressed in a rumpled suit, trench coat, and fedora. His features were rugged, broad shoulders speaking of a man who'd once been handsome but had let the years and the job grind him down. He scribbled notes on a pad, his eyes scanning the scene with practiced detachment.

A foot cop approached, handing him a bag of evidence. Nero glanced at it, then back at the bodies.

"Put it with the rest of the evidence," he said flatly.

The cop nodded. "You think it was a hit, Detective?"

Nero studied the scene, the camera pulling back as if from the dead bodies' perspective. "A crime of passion."

The cop blinked. "You have to be shitting me detective? What makes you think that."

Nero pointed to the board. "Study the devil's game closely. See that guy he has all his pieces in start. It seems that everyone was picking on this guy. I assume he drew his gun first and shot this guy over here who has all his pieces at the end except for this one piece which is four spaces away. But everyone knows you can't draw a four.

But this guy panicked. This guy was next who shot. Probably best friend to the victim and would have came in a close second, at best. Now this third guy over here, he is the real dumb-ass. Hasn't got a chance to win but would do anything the victim tells him to do. So he did. He got the fatal shot into the first shooter who apparently was a pretty good shot being he got a shot off into this guys head while falling back."

The cop stared. "You telling me four people lost their lives over a game of sorry?"

Nero shrugged. "I seem people killed over a lot less than a game of Sorry. I know a guy who once killed a man over a quarter. Can you imagine killing a man over a quarter?"

The cop shook his head. "No! I can't."

Nero nodded. "Neither can I."

The cop walked away. Then a new man entered the room—Dashing "Dash" Fellows, thirty, handsome, clean-cut, the kind of man women fell for at first sight. He approached Nero.

The narrator's voice overlaid the scene: "The first time I laid my eyes on my partner I studied him closely trying to understand him. But I knew immediately he was a mysterious man with a lot of secrets that he would never tell another."

Dash extended his hand. "Detective Nero. I am Detective Fellows. Your new partner."

Nero eyed him. "I didn't ask for a new partner."

Dash shrugged. "I didn't ask to be reassigned. I was just told to report to you. Which I have just done."

Nero shook his head, refocusing on Dash. "Did you do something to piss the Chief off?"

Dash: "I hope not."

Nero: "They say I am cursed."

Dash: "You have lost over seven partners over the last twenty years on the police force. I have been told this more than once."

Nero: "And you don't mind?"

Dash: "It I had a problem with it what good would it do? Like I said, I was assigned, I didn't volunteer."

Nero studied him, then turned back to the bodies. "I'll talk to the chief. But in the meantime see if you see anything here that you think is odd so I can get home and get some sleep."

Dash scanned the scene. "Where did they get the guns?"

Nero: "Black market."

Dash: "I can't believe they can still get their hands on guns in this town with the Mayor's ban on them."

Nero: "You really think a ban is going to keep guns out of the hands of the criminal element?"

Dash: "I always hoped it would."

Nero: "Well it doesn't."

Dash: "That's negative thinking."

Nero: "No! Detective Fellows, that is an educated observation. You can't outlaw human behavior. before long you will have a city filled with crooks."

Dash: "If we did our jobs and charged those we find with illegal guns we could make a difference."

Nero laughed, shaking his head. "You want to try to resurrect these guys and charge them with illegal possession of a firearm in Shady Oaks?"

Dash: "I meant..."

Nero: "I know what you meant."

Dash: "We should at least investigate to find out how they got the guns and shut off that supply route."

Nero: "I know where they are getting the guns."

Dash: "Where?"

Nero eyed something in the ashtray, leaned over, pulled it out, read it, smelled it. "Thymes Picayune. He must be back in town."

He laughed. "Who?"

Nero put his hand on Dash's back, gently pushing him toward the exit. "There isn't anything else we can find out here. How about I buy you a cup of coffee so we can talk and find out a little about each other?"

Dash: "That would be perfect."

The two men left. Police officers taped off the scene as coroners pulled the bodies out.

Chapter 3: Thymes Picayune

The door opened to a dark, smoky room. Thymes Picayune, an old wrinkled cigarette man, stood in the doorway. He hesitated, looking at something, then stepped in but stopped again.

Bertie "Nanny" Bloom, fifty-one, a male transvestite, sat in the middle of a group of transvestites, butchy women, and lipstick queens on the periphery. Nanny was in charge, the queen on her throne, next to the king—a diesel dyke dressed in trucker's clothing.

"About time you got here, Thymes," Nanny said.

Thymes: "I got here as soon as I could, baby."

Nanny: "How did Mike and his Hood treat you good down south?"

Thymes: "They treated me well."

Nanny: "Good. I like to know my bitches treat my boys good."

Thymes: "Now baby you know I ain't no boy."

Nanny: "Too bad, bitch. Just tell me, did your guys make their delivery before they killed each other?"

Thymes: "Of course, doll. Just as I promised."

Nanny: "Now explain to me what was that bullshit at the shipyard last night?"

Thymes: "You know the business we are in, baby. Big men with big guns and a lot of short tempers."

Nanny: "You need to keep control of your goons, Thymes, or we will not be in business long, you got that?"

Thymes: "It is taken care of. It won't be happening again."

Nanny: "That's good, love."

Thymes: "Now I am back in town, what are you going to do about Charlie Kools? He has a monopoly in this town now that Marl Brother have split the scene."

Nanny: "Don't worry your pretty little head off Thymes. Just be ready to supply Shady Oaks all the cigarettes this town can smoke."

Thymes: "Charlie Kools isn't going to go away without a fight like the Marl Brothers did."

Nanny: "Don't you worry about Charlie Kools, Thymes. I think he will see it our way eventually and do the right thing."

Thymes smiled.

Nanny: "Just sit down and have a drink, baby. I will fill you in with all the details."

Thymes went to sit, but one of the Nazis moved to make room. Nanny patted the empty seat beside her. Thymes took it, someone handed him a drink.

"That's right baby, your Nanny is going to take good care of you."

Thymes smiled and kissed Nanny, took a swig of whiskey.

"That is some good stuff."

Nanny: "I only want the best. Best whiskey, best cigarettes, and the best lover."

Thymes: "I can take care of two of three?"

They smiled, clinked glasses, kissed. Thymes pulled out a cigarette, put it in his mouth, searched for a lighter. Nanny pulled one out, flicked it open, lit it. Thymes leaned in, lit his cigarette, took a drag. He leaned back, arm across the seat as Nanny opened his shirt, kissed his chest, worked down to his pants. The top of her head bobbed up and down.

"That's right baby. Nobody lights my fire like you do, baby."

Chapter 4: Drip Coffee Shop

The camera pulled back from a coffee cup to Franz and Dash sitting at a table next to a window, talking over coffee.

The camera panned the coffee shop until a waitress swiveled by. They followed her to the table.

"So what did you do to get yourself assigned to me?" Franz asked.

Dash: "Nothing that I know of. I came into work this morning and I got a called in by the Captain and she said that I had been assigned to you."

Franz: "What sort of crimes were you working on before this?"

Dash: "Cyber crime."

Franz: "Cyber crime? What the fuck? Why would they move you from cyber crime to homicide. That doesn't make any sense."

Dash: "I just do what I am told."

Franz: "Sounds like someone wanted to get you away from what you do well. You pissed someone off, you just don't know who? I would watch my back if I were you."

Dash: "Maybe they sent me to watch you?"

Franz: "I already know that. They will call you in every other week to talk about me. It happens with every partner I have had since the Blooms took over this city."

Dash: "You seem to know a lot more than the average detective."

Franz: "I have been around the block once or twice, Dash. You will get there too, if you live long enough."

Dash: "I am sure I will live to a ripe old age."

Franz: "Don't be so certain. When the person who had you assigned with me is done with you, they will drag you off to the city dump and discard you with the rest of their trash."

Dash: "I told you I am not working for anyone but the Shady Oaks Police Department."

Franz: "And there is the biggest crook in this city. Cops arrest. Judges give bail, bondsmen get money, lawyers get money, it seems like everybody in the system in making a buck on the unfortunate souls that get on the wrong side of the law."

Dash: "Why don't we get back to homicide."

Franz: "Okay! Well, as you know homicide is little different."

Dash: "I seen my share of dead bodies."

Franz: "I noticed you kept your composure."

Dash: "So tell me, Detective.."

Franz: "Just call me Franz."

Dash: "How do you know where the guns are coming from?"

Franz didn't answer immediately. He took a swig of his coffee. "You really want to know this?"

Dash: "Of course I do."

Franz: "You ever heard of a syndicate called The Vagina Nazis?"

Dash: "I can't say I have."

Franz: "Well that is where the guns came from."

Dash: "Then let's go bust them."

Franz: "I wish it was that easy, Dash. See the Vagina Nazis have their finger on everything that comes in the black market of this city. Drugs, alcohol and next will be cigarettes."

Dash: "But smoking is legal."

Franz: "But you have to have medical insurance. And without insurance you can't get anything in this city. You can't even get a fucking apartment anymore."

Dash: "I never thought about it like that."

Franz: "Because you were not around when things were different. When a man could be a son of a bitch and not be taxed for it."

Dash laughed. "You old school bastards. You guys really have seen some stuff, haven't you."

Franz: "You damn right. You young guns you guys don't know shit."

Dash: "So tell me about them."

Franz: "Seventy six percent of the crime is committed by these thugs."

Dash: "Why haven't they showed up on the internet?"

Franz laughed. "I will tell you why."

Franz signaled with his finger to lean in. Dash did. Their noses almost touched. Franz looked around. "Because the Vagina Nazis have a connection at the highest levels in this city."

Dash: "Does the Mayor know this?"

Franz: "That is who I am talking about. All the cities problems starts and ends with the Mayor. You get rid of the Blooms you clean up the city."

Dash looked around, whispered angrily: "Franz, you just can't go around making empty accusations against the Mayor. It could get you in a lot of trouble."

Franz leaned back, smirking. "I am not making empty accusations."

Dash: "What makes you think Mayor Bloom is behind the crime in this city?"

Franz: "You the smart guy. Why don't you go poke around in her finances on the internet. Tell me if you see anything strange."

Dash: "That is against the law. I would need a warrant."

Franz: "You aren't going to get a warrant from no judge in this city. Nanny owns them all."

Dash: "I am not going to dick around in cyber land without one."

Franz: "I thought you wanted to get rid of the guns."

Dash: "I do."

Franz: "Then you going to have to sometimes break the law to enforce the peace."

Dash: "There has got to be a better way."

Franz: "Tell me when you think of it."

Chapter 5: Outside the Dragon Inn

An anthropomorphic Cigarette Man named Charlie Kool, thirty-five, shaped like a cigarette but with face and legs, walked out of his club/hotel late at night. He was drunk.

Charlie stumbled to his car, leaned against it, fumbled for his keys. He dropped them, leaned down to pick them up.

As he tried to get the key in the hole, a cherry red limousine pulled up beside him.

The window rolled down, revealing a beautiful red-headed transvestite smoking a cigarette in a holder. It was Bertie "Nanny" Bloom. She smiled at Charlie.

Charlie smiled back. "That's not my brand."

Nanny: "Oh! Don't be offended Charlie. This brand has a little more bang for the buck."

Charlie: "Maybe if you will stop passing laws decreasing the level of nicotine in my cigarettes then I could give you the impact you are looking for."

Nanny blew a long drag. "Oh! Charlie don't be mad because I tried another cigarette."

Charlie: "Smoke what you want. It doesn't bother me. I still do good business even with a cigarette of lesser quality."

Nanny: "You haven't been to see me in a long time, Charlie. Why?"

Charlie: "I am a busy man."

Nanny: "We are all busy people, Charlie. That is no excuse of not spending a couple nights at my place."

Charlie: "So why is the Mayor of Shady Oaks riding around at 3 in the morning."

Nanny: "Just looking for a smoking hot man like you to put my lips around."

Nanny dropped her shirt, revealing her breast. They were a man's breast.

Charlie's eyes lit up. "They don't call me good time Charlie for nothing."

Nanny: "Get in and I will make sure you get home safe, eventually."

Charlie got into the limousine. It pulled off.

Chapter 6: Nanny's Limousine

Charlie sat in the dark beside Nanny. Across from them were three figures in the shadows. In the middle was whiskey and glasses.

"Is this a limousine or a rolling bar?" Charlie said.

Everyone laughed.

Nanny: "That is how me and my sisters roll."

Sister #1: "Drink Charlie?"

Charlie looked over. "Sure baby."

Charlie whispered to Nanny: "Did you have to bring your sisters with you?"

Nanny: "You know how we roll in this city, baby. They are my protection."

Sister #1: "What do you want to drink, Charlie?"

Charlie: "How about a Norman Desmond?"

Off screen, the drink was made while Charlie and Nanny kissed.

Nanny: "Your on fire tonight ain't ya baby."

Charlie: "Where there's smoke there's fire."

Sister #1's eyes looked at Nanny.

Nanny signaled with a nod.

The sister's hand poured poison into Charlie's drink.

"Here's your drink Charlie."

Charlie, kissing Nanny's neck, pulled back. "Let it age a bit."

Nanny pushed him back. "Let's pace out the night, Charlie. Let's have a drink first and talk."

Charlie pulled back, composed himself, took the drink, downed it. "Wow! Shit girl you know how to make a drink. Fix me another and make it a double."

Nanny: "You drink to fast, Charlie."

Charlie: "I like whiskey for its taste not because I am looking to develop a relationship with it."

Thymes Picayune lit a cigarette. The flame lit his face.

Charlie: "Thymes Picayune. The pride of New Orleans."

Thymes: "The one and only."

Charlie: "I thought you were dead."

Thymes: "I guess I have been resurrected."

Charlie: "What the fuck, Bertie. You friends with a murderer?"

Thymes: "I make the strongest cigarette in the world. It ain't my problem my consumers can't limit themselves to an appropriate number of cigarettes per day."

Sister #1 gave Charlie his second drink.

Charlie: "It looks like you getting into the cigarette business?"

Nanny: "You knew it was only a matter of time."

Charlie: "You got your finger in every business in the city, Nanny. How much is enough?"

Nanny: "What good is making money if you can't make more."

Charlie: "Is there nothing you won't do for money?"

Nanny looked at Charlie's glass. "I would do anything for money."

Charlie smelled his glass.

Nanny: "Cyanide has no scent."

Everyone laughed. Charlie dropped his glass.

"You fucking bitch."

Nanny grabbed Charlie's lips, squeezed. "I know I am, Charlie. But that is what you loved about me."

Charlie passed out. Nanny held him, kissed him goodbye. "That's for the memories."

She let go; his head drooped. She played with it humorously. Everyone laughed.

"He never could hold his liquor."

Chapter 7: Dead End

The limousine pulled through a secluded area, stopped. Hands shoved Charlie out; he fell into the street in the shape of a swastika.

Chapter 8: Nero's Pad

Franz Nero sat on his couch with a bottle of bootleg whiskey, jazz music on the radio, rain outside.

His cell phone rang. He ignored it, then picked up.

"Nero here. Yeah! Where? I will be there right away."

He closed the phone, finished his drink.

Chapter 9: Parking Garage

Nero got into his smart car, pulled out into city traffic filled with small electric cars, segways, scooters.

Chapter 10: Charlie's Murder Scene

Nero pulled up to the scene, dark and raining.

He walked under police tape to the body.

Dash knelt over it, pulled back the blanket. "You recognize him?"

Nero studied the beaten, bruised face. "That's Charlie Kool. He has seen better days."

Dash covered it, stood. "You wouldn't know who might want him dead?"

"The list is long. I didn't like the motherfucker myself."

Dash: "I take you didn't do this?"

Nero: "Can't take credit for this one."

Dash: "So where do we begin looking?"

Nero: "Follow the money, Dash, is what I always tell everyone. It always leads you to the truth."

Dash: "The best I could tell is this is where he was dumped. There is no sign of a struggle anywhere."

Nero: "Take that blanket off him one more time."

Dash did.

Nero: "Do you notice anything strange about the body?"

Rain poured off their fedoras.

"It has been laid out in the shape of a swastika."

Dash: "I never noticed it. Is that a clue?"

Nero: "A huge one."

Dash: "What does it mean?"

Nero: "It is the sign of the Vagina Nazis."

Dash: "We dusted for prints and evidence."

Nero: "You are not going to find anything. The Vagina Nazis are clean, experienced at killing. Whatever evidence they didn't clean up has been washed away in the cities drainage now."

A street cop walked up with a bag. "Sir! Here is all that we found."

Dash took it. "A cigarette butt. That isn't a lot to go on."

Nero: "That isn't just any cigarette butt. That's a Picayune cigarette butt."

Dash: "What does that tell you?"

Nero: "It tells me that the cigarette industry has just went underground and you can bet Mayor Bloom is going to ban cigarettes pretty much to drive business to the black market where she and Thymes Picayune will be raking in the dough."

Dash: "You can't just accuse the Mayor of having her hand in a murder without evidence."

Nero: "I learned long ago, Dash, taht smart cops don't last long on these streets. Dumb cops move up in this corrupt system and live longer. That is why I became a dumb cop. I take me where the evidence takes me and if it the evidence takes me nowhere then nowhere is where I go."

Dash: "We can't just write up a report and file it away as unsolved."

Nero: "No! I was thinking about for the first time in my life of doing my job the right way. Be a good cop for once."

Dash: "We all should be the best cop we can be."

Nero: "Then let's round up some of our usual suspects to shake the tree and see if any fruits fall out."

Dash: "Who do we start with?"

Nero: "Benjamin Blunt."

Chapter 11: Police Car

Dash and Franz parked, waited.

"Who we waiting for?" Dash asked.

Franz: "The number one snitch in the business. Benjamin Blunt. He is an idiot, or he plays one in real life. Just don't be fooled though. He knows more than he will ever tell you."

A Marijuana Man with shorts pulled down walked out of the apartment complex.

"That's our boy. Let's follow him."

Franz and Dash exited, headed toward Blunt. Blunt turned, saw them, walked a few more feet, then took off. Dash caught him, dragged him down, pushed his face against concrete.

"Eat concrete dirt bad before I waste your sorry ass."

Blunt: "I ain't done nothing. What is this shit all about. Hey motherfuckers this is against my civil liberties."

Nero came up. Blunt stopped complaining. "Well Detective Nero. How the fuck have you been."

Nero: "I have been real good."

Blunt: "What is this about?"

Nero: "You were driving with an expired licensed, that is what this about."

Blunt: "Motherfucker. I can't you going to hustle a motherfucker like this."

Nero: "Nobody is not hustling anyone. I am just needing some information."

Nero and Dash lifted Blunt to his feet.

Blunt: "I haven't got anything to tell you."

Nero: "Good! But I do't know about that, Benjamin."

A black and white arrived.

Nero: "Looks like your ride is here. I'll see you back at the office, Benjamin."

Chapter 12: Police Station

Franz entered his office, hung his fedora and trench coat.

He sat, typed on his computer.

The door opened. "Lab results just came in," Dash said.

Franz: "So anything interesting in them?"

Dash handed the file. Dash sat, crossed his legs.

"Alcohol, nicotine, marijuana. The usual suspects."

"And cyanide. That cab be lethal to a human being from what I have heard."

Dash: "And hard detect."

Franz: "They probably slid it into his drink. Charlie couldn't never say no to stiff drink and sexy pair of legs."

Dash scratched his leg.

Franz: "Let's go see what Benjamin Blunt has to say about this."

Chapter 13: Benjamin Blunt's Interrogation

Benjamin Blunt, twenty-four, anthropomorphic joint with dreadlocks, sat alone in the interrogation room.

Franz and Dash entered. Franz sat across from Benjamin; Dash leaned against the wall.

"You know something and I want to know what you know. So talk to me," Franz said.

Blunt: "I want a lawyer. I ain't got nothing to say."

Franz: "You ain't in trouble, Benjie. I just need some information and I know you know a lot of things about a lot people."

Blunt: "About what?"

Franz: "Charlie Kool was murdered last night. He was killed with cyanide tablet."

Blunt: "I ain't had nothing to do with it."

Franz: "We never said you did."

Blunt: "Charlie had his hand in many cookie jars across town. Plus, he also had his dick in the mayor's ass from what I heard."

Franz: "That's old news. Give me something I can use and you can go."

Blunt: "The streets are filled with rumors. I can tell you one but that doesn't mean it is true."

Franz: "Tell me one."

Blunt: "Detective Nero. Why don't you just let it go. Whoever killed Charlie won't be the first person in this city who didn't pay for their crimes. Do yourself a favor and walk away from this one too."

Franz: "I might take your advice, Benjamin. But I am one curious motherfucker. I love puzzles and I can't sleep until I know where all the puzzle pieces go. Then I might call it the night or start working on another."

Blunt: "You don't sleep much do you?"

Franz: "Not anymore."

Blunt: "Come by my place. I can give you something to help you sleep at night."

Franz: "I am not into what you got to sell me, Benjamin. Just talk to me and you go free."

Blunt: "You trust your partner."

Franz: "With my life."

Blunt: "That's a big mistake."

Blunt: "You know a man named Thymes Picayune?"

Franz: "Vaguely."

Blunt: "Well I here he is in town and selling cigarettes in the black market."

Dash: "That makes no sense. Cigarettes are legal."

Blunt: "If you buy them in the regular market then your insurance rates go up. If you can't afford your insurance the city charges a fee you can't pay. That is why many people buy their cigarettes in the black market so that the city government doesn't know they are smokers. Plus their insurance rates stay down. Thymes is their only supplier now that Charlie is dead. He is now the only cigarette business in town."

Franz: "Which means cigarettes will soon be illegal."

Blunt: "Exactly! But not only illegal, deadlier. Now can I get out of here now?"

Blunt waited, then left. Franz sat deep in thought.

Chapter 14: The Coffee Maker

Franz and Dash walked out of the interrogation room.

"You don't think we should have held Blunt for a few hours to try to get anything else out of him?" Dash asked.

Franz: "He didn't tell me anything I didn't already suspect. If he did know anything that could cause problems for anyone in the court of law they would have clipped that old pot head's tail by now."

Franz stopped at the coffee pot, poured a cup. Dash eyed him.

"I think we do need to drop by the Drag On Inn and talk to the staff to see if they know anything."

Franz took a sip. Dash was out of focus in the background.

Franz looked over at Dash. "Something on your mind, Dash."

Dash: "No. Nothing."

Franz: "Now if you got something to say, say it. I don't want no bullshit secrets getting in between the two of us."

Dash: "I just noticed that this is your second cup of coffee this morning."

Franz: "I see. Coffee. Caffeine, Cigarettes, Guns. Nanny got her hands in all of it, outlawing some of it, limiting other by putting us all in the cuffs of having insurance."

Dash: "I am sorry, Franz. I was just pointing..."

Franz: "Okay, I won't take another cup. You are right for bringing it up."

Dash: "I just hate to see anyone lose their insurance coverage over some bullshit."

Franz: "I sure miss the old days when a man could be a man."

Dash: "I wasn't there then."

Franz: "You missed good times, young man. Back then we carried guns and dealt with criminals like they needed to be dealt with. But then it all changed when Mayor Bloom was just a assistant DA."

Dash: "What did she do?"

Franz: "She went after the gun industry hard. It started off when Magnum was convicted of murder and soon nobody could carry a gun."

Chapter 15: Flashback - Courtroom

In a courtroom from a few years earlier, Mayor Bloom was on the floor. On the witness stand was a teary-eyed gun owner, and with his lawyers was Magnum, twenty-five, anthropomorphic gun.

"Ned, can you tell the court how you first met the defendant, Mr. Magnum?" Nanny asked.

Ned: "I met Mr. Magnum in that gun store on Vampire Alley that turns off of Weeping Street."

Nanny: "And who approached who?"

Ned: "He did. Well sort of. I mean he lured me over to him. Asked me to hold him in my hand to get a good feel of the grip."

Nanny: "So basically he used sexual overtones to get you over to him?"

Ned: "Yes, mam."

Nanny: "What did you do once you picked him up?"

Ned: "He told me that he would be a good friend to have around when you have troubles."

Lawyer #1: "I object, your Honor to this line of questioning."

Judge: "Is this line of questioning going anywhere?"

Nanny: "Yes, your honor. We have a point to this."

Judge: "Overturned."

Nanny: "So basically he used fear to get you to take him home with you."

Ned: "Yes mam."

Nanny: "Tell us what happened after you took magnum home."

Ned: "His touch was addicting. He just became another thing that took control of my emotions. I loved getting my hand around his stock and pulling his trigger and feeling the bang of his barrel."

Nanny: "What other addictions did you have to fight with?"

Ned: "Caffeine from an early age. My parents use to feed me coke when I was a kid so basically I was raised on that stuff. Salt, sugar, fat, just basically all the bad stuff."

Nanny: "And you were eventually diagnosed with an anxiety disorder?"

Ned: "Yes. My doctor said it was from the use to too much caffeine."

Nanny: "And it was in this condition that you ended up bringing Magnum home with you."

Ned: "Yes."

Nanny: "You and he ended up in a very emotional relationship?"

Ned: "Yes."

Nanny: "Sexual?"

Ned: "Yes."

Nanny: "So on the night that Linda Bemer was killed, Mr. Magnum was with you."

Ned: "He got jealous because I wanted out of relationship. Linda did not like guns, you see. I told Magnum to get out but he wouldn't leave. I figure he would get the point eventually."

Nanny: "Take us through the steps of that night that led to Magnum shooting Linda."

Ned: "I arrived home to find Frankie Flame, a singer from a local band called the Volcanoes, hanging out at my house. He played at one of the clubs Linda worked. They were pretty close before me and her. So I enter the house and hear this noise in my bedroom. So I go in there and I find Linda and Frankie making love."

Ned started to cry.

Nanny: "How did that make you feel?"

Ned: "Betrayed, heartbroken."

Nanny: "What did you do when you saw them in bed together."

Ned: "I turned to run out of the house but then I hear this whispering in my desk. So I go over there and find Magnum hanging out. He says to me 'you want me to handle this?' I said to him no, just let it go. But then he jumps up into my hand and that is when I felt that intoxicating stock in my hand and he slipped his trigger around my finger. I tried to stop him but he pulled back into that bedroom. This time I found Frankie getting dressed really fast. Frankie looked at me and then he looked at Magnum. He ran for the window but Magnum raised himself up from my hand and fired two shots into his back. Magnum then turned and fired four more shots into my girlfriend."

Nanny: "Can you point Mr. Magnum out in this courtroom."

Ned pointed at the anthropomorphic gun hanging his head low.

Nanny: "My witness is pointing at Mr. Magnum."

Chapter 16: The Coffee Maker 2

Franz sipped his coffee.

"And after Magnum was put away for life guns were taken out everyone's home and eventually they were taken from police officers," Franz said.

Dash: "Nanny went on an anti-gun crusade?"

Franz: "She led the charge but it was her father, who was Mayor of Shady Oaks back then who signed the anti-gun law and put it in the books."

Dash: "I can see her point. The city is safer today than it was back then."

Franz: "You think?"

Dash: "It seems so from what I have heard."

Franz: "At least back then you knew who were the good guys and who were the bad guys."

Dash: "I disagree."

Franz looked hard but calmed. "Disagree all you want to. It is the truth."

Franz chugged the last of his coffee. "Let's take a visit to Charlie's club. There is an old friend there I would like to talk with."

Franz threw his cup in the trash. The two men headed out, but Franz hung back, taking a second look at Dash.

Chapter 17: Drag On Inn

Franz and Dash pulled up, got out, headed toward the bar.

They entered, saddled up to the bar.

Franz looked to the stage where a bottle of coca cola sang a jazz song.

"Now that's a singer. Her voice is really refreshing in this over caffeinated world," Dash said.

Franz: "Coca is one of a kind. Nothing like the real thing."

Al, fifty-nine, the bartender, walked up. "You gentlemen here for a drink or you just needing a glass of water?"

Franz: "Two glasses of ginger ale."

Al: "Ginger ale? You got to be kidding."

Al fixed the drinks, put them down.

Franz: "Al, can you ask Cocoa to come over here to talk with me?"

Al: "Has this got to do with Charlie's murder?"

Franz: "We will have to see."

Al walked down, signaled to the bouncer. The bouncer whispered in Cocoa's ear.

"I never been in a straight bar before," Dash said.

Franz: "Not all straight people are weirdos like they pretend us to be on TV."

Dash: "I never thought so either."

Cocoa finished her song, came walking up.

"Detective Nero. Haven't seen you in awhile?" Cocoa said.

Franz: "It has been a busy couple of weeks, baby. How about you have a seat and let's talk."

Cocoa: "I see you have a new partner."

Franz: "This is Detective Dashing Fellows."

Cocoa: "A dashing fellow he is."

Cocoa: "You got someone special in your life?"

Dash: "I do."

Cocoa: "Of course you do. All the good ones always do."

Cocoa pulled out a cigarette, lit it. Franz noticed it wasn't a Kool.

"New brand?" Franz said.

Cocoa: "What? Oh this? It is the popular brand now. You need one?"

Franz: "I don't smoke, Cocoa. You know that."

Cocoa looked at Dash. "You look like the kind of man who likes a good Picayune cigarette."

Dash looked, wanted a drag, composed himself. "I think I will pass."

Dash: "Let's keep this visit professional."

Coca Cola slid between them.

"So you boys going to buy a lady a drink or what?"

Franz: "Al, one jack and..."

Franz looked at Cocoa.

Cocoa: "Of course coke, baby. You never mix drinks."

"So what brought you here, Franz? I know it wasn't to hear me sing."

Franz: "Charlie Kool. That is what got me up here today."

Coca: "And you think someone here did it?"

Franz: "I don't think anyone here did it. But I know it is a great starting point to find out who is behind all this."

Al set down a glass of coke and jack.

Franz: "Rumors had it that you and Charlie were seen together pretty regularly?"

Coca: "Yes, we did. I loved him. He loved the taste of my corn syrup, if you know what I mean. Is there a crime against fucking now that I haven't been informed of?"

Franz: "No. But I wouldn't put it pass Nanny to try."

Coca: "You old guys. You blame Nanny for everything. I think she has done a good job of taking care of this city, trying to keep the peace."

Dash: "You ever heard of the Vagina Nazis?"

Coca: "I have but they never come here. They wouldn't be caught dead in a straight bar."

Franz: "Do you know if the Mayor had a relationship with Charlie Kool?"

Coca: "Not that I know of. But I really didn't pay attention to who Charlie was fucking besides me. I like to mind my own business."

Dash: "It is a great way to ensure you have a long life in this city to mind your own business."

Coca: "So I have heard."

Franz: "Cocoa if you know anything right now is the time to come clean. Nanny will come after you soon enough. She is always trying to rid the city of something everybody likes."

Coca: "She will never come after Coke. Only those that are over 16 ounces."

Franz: "Your charm is going to run out eventually, Cocoa and then you may find yourself on ice."

Coca: "I hear I taste best when I am cold."

Franz: "Thymes Picayune. You know anything about him?"

Cocoa shifted nervously, downed her drink.

"I have another set. I got to go boys. Nice talking to you too. See you around, Dash."

Cocoa walked to the stage, sang.

"Do you think she is hiding something?" Dash asked.

Franz: "We all are hiding something."

Dash: "About the murder of Charie?"

Franz: "She knows something but she is just so afraid to talk. She knows she is the next vice to fall under the guise of safety and security."

Cocoa finished her song; bodyguard walked over to her.

Chapter 18: The Vampires Visit Benjamin Blunt

Benjamin Blunt hung out in his plush velvet pad, sitar music in the background, smoke permeating. He was with a young man and woman, exchanging kisses.

Several Vagina Nazis busted in. Benjamin tried to run, but they captured him.

"What about these two?" Vampire #2 asked.

Thymes Picayune: "Feed them to the fishes."

Chapter 19: Benjamin Blunt Has Unplanned Visit with Thymes Picayune

Benjamin sat tied in a chair, mysterious people circled.

A man lit a cigarette—Thymes Picayune.

"So how you doing, Benjamin. It has been a long time."

Benjamin: "Thymes. How you do man? What is this all about?"

Thymes: "We are trying to keep the chatter in the streets about my return quiet. But it seems somebody has been running their mouth to our local heroes, the Shady Oak Police Department."

Benjamin: "You know they always shake down the usual suspects after a murder, Thymes."

Thymes: "Yeah! What did you guys talk about?"

Benjamin: "Nothing. I didn't tell them anything."

Thymes: "That is not what I was told. I heard my name came up."

Benjamin: "No. I promise I didn't say anything."

Thymes: "That is not what a handsome fellow told me."

Benjamin: "Who told you this?"

Thymes: "I don't kiss and tell, Benjamin."

Benjamin: "Thymes, come on man."

Thymes: "Shut the fuck up, Benjamin. Mayor Bloom has given you full reign of this city as long as she gets her cut and all you have done is cut her out."

Benjamin: "She is already getting seventy-five percent of the profits."

Thymes: "If she wanted ninety it is her right. That is why we call it Bloomtown. We are just little scavengers surviving on the crumbs she feeds us with. But her crumbs fall in big clunks when they do fall, you know what I mean, Benjie?"

Benjamin: "How do you know about..."

Thymes: "I know everything. It is my job to know everything."

Benjamin: "You got the police station bugged?"

Thymes: "That takes to much work, Benjamin. You keep thinking about it and see if you can figure it out how I know everything while I clean my pipe we are going to smoke you with. We aren't even going to find a little roach for them find."

Benjamin: "Please, Thymes. Okay! I admit it. I said your name but I was just trying to keep Nero off Nanny's trail."

Thymes: "So you talked?"

Benjamin: "I didn't say anything they could use."

Thymes: "I don't care. You talked. You should have lawyered up and Nanny would have gotten you out of there."

Benjamin: "I didn't want her to know I was picked up."

Thymes: "It is over, Benjamin. Roll him up and light him up."

Thymes and the Vagina Nazis grabbed Benjamin, threw him down, lit him up as he screamed.

"Pain lets you know you are alive, Benjamin. Don't worry you want feel nothing soon enough."

Chapter 20: Franz's Bedroom

Franz asleep with two women, Hope and Joy, nineteen and twenty.

His phone rang. He lifted his arm off one, answered.

"Detective Nero speaking. Benjamin Blunt. Okay."

He hung up, sat disheartened. One girl put her arms around him.

"What is wrong, baby?"

Franz: "Just another murder."

"You gotta leave?"

Franz: "It is my job. You girls let yourself out in the morning."

Nero got out naked, walked to the bathroom, closed the door.

Chapter 21: Blunt's Apartment

Footsteps stopped at the door. Keys rattled. The door swung open. Silhouette of Nero. He walked in, turned on a light.

He searched, looked down on the floor, found evidence that Blunt frequented the Church of the Poison Mind.

Chapter 22: Church of the Poison Mind

Franz and Dash entered the Church of the Poison Mind, a club of transvestites.

Transvestites stared.

"We are crazy to come walking into this place without a warrant," Dash said.

Franz: "Justice must be served."

Dash: "You better watch yourself, Franz. You are becoming a real cop."

Franz: "I guess you are right."

Franz walked to The Priest sitting at his throne.

"May I help you, detectives?" The Priest said.

Franz: "Benjamin Blunt? Where the fuck is the body?"

The Priest: "You blatantly accuse me of murder, detective. I really hope you have evidence or you will be hearing from my lawyer."

Franz: "Enough with the bullshit, Darrell."

The Priest hissed, withdrawn. "Nobody calls me by that name."

Franz: "You did five years in prison already for murder. You remember. I busted you for that one."

The Priest: "Yeah I remember but I made a lot of connections since my prison time."

Franz: "I know. I know these things, Darrel. You and Nanny are real close as I hear."

The Priest: "I best you drop this line of questioning, Detective unless you want to join Benjamin Blunt on this list of the Missing Persons."

Franz: "You fucking bastard nothing you say scares me. I know you are the kingpin of the Vagina Nazis. But I don't even care that you murdered Benjamin Blunt or Charlie Kool as a matter of fact. But the man deserves a proper burial. I just want you to the right thing, Darrell, for once in your life, and tell me where I can find his remains."

The Priest: "You accusing me?"

Franz: "No! We just think you might be of some help to our investigation."

The Priest: "Seems you should focus on one murder,detective Nero before you go investigating another."

Franz: "We believe they are tied into each other."

The Priest: "Let’s have a seat over here."

Franz and The Priest sat; Dash lingered, looking at art.

"You have an interesting taste in art, Priest," Dash said.

The Priest: "Our art reminds us that we have been persecuted all through our history. Every time there is a murder people want to blame those different than themselves."

Franz: "I hear you and Nanny have been pretty close the last few years even after she prosecuted many of your kind."

The Priest: "We worked out our differences."

Franz: "Do you know anything about the death of Benjamin Blunt?"

The Priest: "Just what I heard through the vine. Heard they smoked him down so low that they didn't even leave a roach."

Franz: "Do you know anything about the death of Charlie Kool?"

The Priest: "Damn! Detective Nero. Everybody has heard of that. Sounds like Shady Oaks homicide department is very busy these days."

Franz: "People like you keep us in business."

The Priest: "When did you start becoming a detective? You never seemed so interested in solving a crime before."

Franz: "I guess I figured it was about time I started to do my job."

The Priest: "I hear that is bad for your health."

Franz: "You are pretty old, aren't you?"

The Priest: "I go back a few years."

Franz: "Oh! Then you know that Nanny's likes her boys young?"

The Priest looked like he'd been knifed.

The Priest: "My relationship with Nanny is just fine."

Franz whispered: "Just give me a name and let me close the book on these murders and I will leave you alone."

The Priest smiled, whispered: "You really desperate aren't you Nero?"

Franz started to laugh.

The Priest pulled back, looked at his guys. There was a lump in his throat.

"Fuck you, Nero. My boys are loyal to me."

The Priest got up. "It is time for you to leave, Nero."

Franz: "I am old, Darrell."

The Priest: "Don't fucking call me that name anymore."

Franz: "You remember when Nanny's father went after the tobacco industry."

The Priest: "I do."

Franz: "They got very rich for suing the tobacco industry."

The Priest: "Yes, they did. And so did the tobacco industry."

Franz: "They were sued and had to pay extortion fees to the lawyers and politicians and to the family's of smokers but they also got to increase their prices. And they never came down. So it wasn't the tobacco company that paid anything it was those who kept a smoking. Everybody got rich. The only people it hurt were the consumers of cigarettes."

Dash: "Talk about Ponzi schemes."

Franz: "Government sponsored."

The Priest: "What does it have to do with your investigation?"

Franz: "There are a lot of missing people since the Blooms took over this city."

The Priest: "So!"

Franz: "You are welcome to come in the office anytime and talk to me."

The Priest: "I ain't got nothing to tell you."

Franz: "You sure don't mind giving up one of your men but you protect Nanny. You know she is going to get rid of you soon enough, why not make a deal and protect yourself?"

Franz: "What sort of deal you worked out with the Mayor is what I am wondering?"

The Priest lingered menacingly. "He is talking nonsense, trying to make you guys think I sold you out. I ain't told him anything. I suggest you leave now."

Franz to the Nazis: "You guys have a good day. I will be seeing one of you soon enough."

The Priest: "He has no names."

The Priest: "Get out of our temple right now before I have to take matters into my own hand."

Dash: "Franz I think it is time we leave."

Franz looked about. "Okay! We will be going now. But I'll be back with a warrant for somebody's arrest."

Franz laughed. Nazis started toward him; The Priest waved them away. Dash grabbed Franz's sleeve, pulled him toward the door. They walked out. The Priest watched angrily.

"That detective is getting too nosy for his own good."

Chapter 22: Straight Strip Joint

Two women danced naked on stage, grinding. Franz hung over a glass of alcohol.

The narrator's voice: "I had figured out by then that Nanny had reduced the products of human vices to illegal goods that she could control on the black market where one good it all, guns, alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes. She was rich and getting richer because human vice cannot be outlawed. Human beings are animals and every animal is influenced by pleasure or pain and when you try to use pain to counter pleasure, you just have lawlessness."

Chapter 23: Underground Raids

Montage of underground outlets being raided.

Chapter 24: Paulie the Vagina Nazi is Arrested

Dash and Nero sat in a car outside the Church of the Poison Mind.

"What are we doing here?" Dash asked.

Franz: "It is time to put a little pressure on The Priest. He is feeling the heat a little now that we hit some of his joints that he protects and word probably has gotten back to Nanny about the little talk we had with him now. So we arrest one of his goons and charge them with the murder of Charlie Kools and Benjamin Blunt and the heat slowly increases. If we can ever get The Priest to break we can make a case against Nanny."

A Vagina Nazi came out, alone, checked the night, headed up the street.

Dash and Nero followed slowly.

They pulled in front. The Nazi ran down the alley. Nero and Franz chased, caught him. Franz punched him in the gut; a bag of cash fell.

"Paulie Speed. You have been name as a suspect in the deaths of Benjamin Blunt and Charlie Kool."

Dash picked up the bag.

Paulie: "I haven't done nothing."

Franz: "You have been named by a witness."

Dash: "Fuck! Why you running around this much cash this late at night."

Paulie: "Fuck you pretty boy."

Paulie to Nero: "Who? Nobody has told you anything."

Franz: "I beg to differ."

Paulie: "I will be out before morning."

Franz: "I suggest you not make bail. For your own safety."

Franz cuffed him, tossed him in the car. They drove off.

Chapter 25: Mayor's Office

Franz and Dash entered Mayor Bloom's office.

"Have a seat detectives," Nanny said.

"I want to thank both of you for coming to see me on short notice."

Franz: "You are welcome."

Nanny: "We have some serious issues to talk about though."

"I noticed that you have been really active in pursuing the killers of Charlie Kool. The public thanks you. But we have complaints that you have violated the civil rights of some of those you have arrested. Do you have anything to say in defense of yourself?"

Franz: "What civil rights? All the raids have turned up evidence and illegal goods that have been outlawed by your office."

Nanny: "You raided a church."

Franz: "A church harboring criminals. People I believe are definitely behind the murder of two men and have knowledge about the criminal side of this city."

Nanny: "You raided a church of good law abiding people so you can find the killer of friends of a dope head. I wonder if I can sell that in my next re-election bid."

Franz: "We are just trying to the job we get paid to do."

Nanny: "I am happy you are trying to do your job, for once, Detective Nero, but you need to include me in the loop before you raid any of these places again."

Franz: "You want me to include this office in on the loop. How are we to ever stop anyone. We only carry tazers and whistles these days because you won't allow us to carry guns anymore."

Nanny: "Because too many officers abused their right to carry a gun. And also don't under estimate the power of a whistle."

Franz: "And who to say that someone working for you isn't working for the criminals in the street."

Nanny: "You accusing me of something, Detective. I will have your badge if you are."

Franz: "I am not saying anything, Mayor."

Franz leaned in, picked a cigarette butt from the ashtray, held it up. "But I did notice you recently changed cigarette brands."

Franz smelled it. "Picayune cigarettes. I hear this brand is very popular these days."

Nanny and Franz stared daggers.

"I will have your badge, Detective if you continue to disrespect me like this."

Dash pulled Franz up. "Let's go Franz before you lose your job."

Nanny: "Take your partners advice, Detective."

Franz and Dash left.

Chapter 26: Secretary's Office

Franz and Dash walked past the young transvestite secretary to the elevator. They got in. Dash and the secretary smiled. Franz looked at her, then Dash, as the doors shut.

"You know her?" Franz asked.

Dash: "Yeah! I see her around here and there."

Franz: "She sure has her eye on you."

Dash: "I guess."

Franz: "Nanny will be wanting us to let her know before we arrest anybody in this city next. She already knows everything anyway."

Dash: "What you mean?"

Franz: "Ain't it obvious. Somebody is working for Nanny from the inside of the police force already."

Dash: "You say we have a mole?"

Franz: "Or more like moles."

They rode silently.

Chapter 27: Franz's Office

Franz sat on his desk drinking coffee. A knock. He looked up—The Priest, beaten up. Nero waved him in.

"You happy, Nero. You see what you did to me. Are you fucking happy now."

Franz: "I didn't do shit to you."

The Priest: "You sowed a seed of doubt and now I am on my way out."

Franz: "How the fuck can you work for an organization that can be manipulated that easy by a detective."

The Priest: "Do you mind if I have a seat?"

Franz: "You got something to tell me?"

The Priest: "You want the killer of Blunt and Kool?"

Franz: "Yeah!"

The Priest: "Thymes Picayune."

Franz: "He had a hand in the murders of both men?"

The Priest: "Yeah!"

Franz: "What about Nanny?"

The Priest: "You can't have Nanny. She is my bread and butter. I will never give you her."

Franz: "I can't protect you if you keep roaming these streets. Nanny has a long reach and she will get you."

The Priest: "She doesn't have to know anything."

Franz: "I have to put you on the stand if we take Picayune to trial. She is going to find out it was you who ratted out her man."

The Priest leaned back. "Godamnit. What a fucking mess."

Franz: "Do you know where Picayune is staying?"

The Priest: "Yes."

Franz: "Let's start there. Let me pick him up and see if I get him to confess."

The Priest: "What difference does it make. I am as good as dead anyway. Picayune is staying at the Old Union Hotel on Scarlet Street. Room 404."

Dash entered, looked at The Priest angrily, then composed, turned to Franz.

"Get ready, Dash. We got a lead on Thymes Picayune's location."

Dash: "We going to pick him up without any evidence?"

Franz: "I got a little birdie ready to tell me everything."

Franz headed out, turned back to the Priest. "Stay here a couple hours and I will be right back. We will find you a place out of town."

The Priest shook his head yes.

Franz grabbed his trench coat; the two men left.

Chapter 28: Mayor's Office

Nanny sat in her office. Door opened—her secretary.

"Mam! Sexy wants to inform you they are on the way to pick up Thymes."

Nanny: "Pick him up? What for?"

Secretary: "Murder."

Nanny reached for a cigarette, leaned back, smoked. "Tell him that I want Thymes dead. I don't need Thymes and Nero talking. Then call the Church and find out where The Priest is."

Secretary: "Yes, mam."

Nanny smoked with a grin.

Chapter 29: Franz's Smart Car

Dash looked at his phone. Franz drove.

"Did you call the hotel to set up reservations?" Franz asked.

Dash: "Yes."

Franz: "If we can catch Thymes we might be able to get him to sing a song that all the city will like."

Chapter 30: Scarlet Street Inn

Dash and Franz and cops headed up the stairs with tazers drawn.

They busted into the apartment. Thymes escaped out the window on the fire escape.

Dash blew his whistle.

Whistles blew, shouts to stop.

Thymes fired back. Cops ducked. One cop got a bullet in the chest.

Franz grabbed his radio. "Officer down. Officer down."

Franz climbed to his feet with tazer raised.

He ran to the window, checked, signaled to Dash that Thymes went to the roof.

Franz chased, blowing whistle. "Stop right there, Thymes. Stop right now."

Thymes reached the roof.

He ran for the stairs; door opened—Dash.

They made eye contact—an understanding.

Thymes ran to the edge, jumped to the next building, caught the fire escape, pulled himself up, started down.

Dash ran up, stared. Franz joined.

"Let's get back down to our car."

Chapter 31: Franz's Smart Car

Franz and Dash jumped in. Thymes' black 1949 Delahaye Type 175 Saoutchik Coupe de Ville passed, cops on segways blowing whistles.

Picayune shot at several.

Thymes swerved in traffic, shooting, mirror showing Nero's lights.

He turned corners at high speed, lost control, careened through a retail store window, throwing mannequins.

"Stop right there, Thymes."

Thymes saw a cop with tazer, raised his gun—click. Another click. Third click—Franz's tazer hit his chest, took him down.

Chapter 32: Interrogation Room

Franz, Dash, Picayune at table, light shining on Thymes.

"You just blowing smoke, Detective. I want to see my lawyer," Thymes said.

Franz: "I have you for two murders and possibly murder of a dozen of my police officers, evading arrest, assault on a police officer, oh I could go on but I will stop there."

Thymes: "I got friends in high places. I will be okay."

Franz: "Your friends aren't going to help you this time, Thymes."

Thymes: "I said get me my lawyer."

Franz: "Talk to me first, Thymes. Maybe, we can make a deal and you will not need a lawyer."

Thymes: "I am thirsty. I need something to drink."

Franz: "After you give me some information."

Thymes: "You ain't getting nothing until I had me a drink."

Franz leaned back frustrated.

Dash: "I will get him a drink."

Franz: "That's fine."

Dash: "You want coffee or water?"

Thymes: "Make it coffee."

Dash left.

Chapter 33: Franz's Office

Dash entered. The Priest looked up.

"I am tired, detective. Can we hurry up and take me to the hotel so I can rest?"

Dash: "A car is waiting for you outside."

The Priest: "I am not getting the back of a police car."

Dash: "It is a black limousine."

Dash turned to leave. The Priest got up.

"Now that is more like it."

The Priest left.

Chapter 34: Coffee Maker

Dash fixed Thymes' coffee, looked around, pulled out a cyanide pill, poured it in, stirred.

"I could also use another cup of coffee," Franz said.

Dash turned—Franz lingering.

"There's barely enough for another cup."

Franz: "That's fine."

Dash picked up the cup, headed back.

Chapter 35: Thymes Fatal Drink

"Here is a cup of coffee for you Thymes."

Dash handed it; Thymes grabbed, downed it.

"I need anothe one."

Dash: "I don't think you are going anywhere, Thymes. That cup you drunk was courtesy of Nanny."

Thymes looked at the cup, started choking.

Franz entered, found Dash administering aid. Franz ran to Thymes.

"What's wrong?"

Dash: "He just started coughing and then he fell out on the floor having a fit."

Franz checked for pulse. "Did you call for an ambulance?"

Dash: "Not yet."

Franz: "Go get an ambulance here."

Dash ran out.

"Thymes, stay with me."

Nero slapped Thymes.

"Stay with me, godamnit."

Thymes: "Nero."

Franz: "What? Did Nanny do this?"

Thymes: "Yes."

Franz: "Did she kill Charlie Kool?"

Thymes tried to speak but died. Dash reentered.

"The ambulance is on the way."

Franz stared at the wall.

"It doesn't matter. He is dead."

Dash: "There goes our case."

Franz: "We still got a case as long as we hold the Priest."

Dash: "The Priest is gone."

Franz ran to his office, found it empty, tossed his fedora against the wall, slid down, sat on the floor.

Chapter 36: Drag On Inn

Dash and his date, Mayor Bloom's secretary, danced with friends as Coca sang.

Franz entered the bar.

He sat at the bar, turned to look at the dancers.

Dash: "Franz, I didn't expect to see you here tonight."

Franz: "I just needed to get out tonight. What brought you gays out to a straight bar?"

Dash: "That sweet voice of Cocoa. Nobody sings like she does."

Franz: "Well, you kids have a good time."

Franz to the secretary: "My boy has put in a lot of hours these last few days. Make sure you treat him well."

Secretary: "Don't worry I plan to."

They giggled, walked out. As they left, a leather bound grizzle figure entered, sidled up to the bar next to Franz.

"Hey Al, is Coca ready?"

Al: "I will check."

Al picked up a phone. Franz didn't look. "Long time no see, Jack."

Jack Daniels: "It ain't against the law for me to be passing through is it?"

Franz: "As long as you are not trying to sell your whiskey, you are fine."

Jack: "All I am here to do is see my girl."

Franz: "You are pretty brave to be in town with Nanny in charge."

Jack: "Me and Nanny have mended our differences."

Franz: "So I take it that Jack Daniels Tennessee Bourbon is still flowing in from out of town."

Jack: "Prohibition is good for my business."

Franz: "Cutting deals with Nanny can be bad for your health, I have heard."

Jack: "She's got my back and I got hers."

Jack took a pull off his vape. Cocoa came up.

"Jack, you are early."

Jack: "You want me to leave and come back?"

Cocoa: "Of course not."

Jack gave Coca a kiss.

"Nothing goes together like Jack and Coke."

They kissed, turned, left.

Al: "I can't believe she is with that Son of a bitch again."

Franz: "Good guys always finish last."

Chapter 37: Secret Meeting Place

Coca and Jack sat among associates. Vagina Nazis were there, missing their leader.

"First of all I want to welcome my old friend, Jack Daniels, back to our lovely city," Nanny said.

Jack: "It is good to be back."

Nanny: "As you know my source at the station says Nero is looking for any evidence to link Charlie Kool's murder to me."

Jack: "We just ran into him over at the Drag On Inn."

Nanny: "And you talked with him?"

Jack: "I did."

Nanny: "I ain't fond of people talking with Nero behind my back."

Jack: "My girl was there. We didn't talk about you. I thought the reason he got his job was because of his imcompetence."

Nanny: "He use to work like that but something has lit a fire under him now."

Jack: "Maybe you should remove Nero from the equation. If you know what I mean?"

Nanny: "If I have to I will but not until I know I have too. Meantime don't be talking with him without your fucking lawyer."

Nanny: "I never liked the idea of killing a cop but it has crossed my mind a lot lately."

Drago: "So are you giving me orders to take him out?"

Nanny: "No! I have somebody close to Nero who will take care of that."

Chapter 38: Jack and Coca

Coca and Jack sat in his car in a desolate location.

"What's troubling you babe?" Jack asked.

Coca: "I was thinking about Detective Nero. I think he is a good man and a fine detective."

Jack: "Why you thinking about him, babe?"

Coca: "I don't think he should have to be killed to protect Nanny. If she would stop outlawing everything then we wouldn't have to have a black market in the first place."

Jack: "You are thinking outside your element babe. You sing your songs and give everybody something sweet to drink. That is all you have to think about."

Coca raised her voice. "That is all you think I should think about. I am smarter than you think, Jack."

Jack: "Okay baby. Calm down."

Coca: "I think we should have a new mayor."

Jack: "You need to shut talk like that up right now. You could get us both killed."

Coca: "But isn't it. The Blooms have ruled this city so long that people have started to think that only the Blooms can be our mayor."

Jack: "Baby, baby. Why you doing this to me?"

Coca: "Just get me out of this city and I will leave you alone about this."

Jack: "You know I can't do that right now. We got a good thing here."

Coca: "Then I will warn, Detective Nero, myself."

Jack: "And if you do, Nanny will have you killed and there wan't be anything I can do to protect you."

Coca: "I don't care. Not everybody who goes up against Nanny has to die."

Chapter 39: Police Station

Franz entered, crossed the station, noticed Cocoa in his office.

"What is she doing here?" Franz asked Dash.

Dash: "She said she needed to talk to you. She looks scared so she must have something important to tell you."

Franz: "Did she tell you what it is about?"

Dash: "She wouldn't talk with me."

Franz headed in, shut the door.

"Coca, you look absolutely sugar free today."

Franz sat. "So what is the purpose of this visit?"

Coca: "Nanny is planning to knock you off."

Franz: "How do you know this?"

Coca: "After I left with Jack the other night he paid a visit to Nanny and she talked about having you killed."

Franz: "So why are you telling me this? You are putting your own life in danger."

Coca: "I don't think it is right and the truth is we are all tired of Nanny being our mayor it is just nobody will say it out loud because some of us are making a lot of money now while most of the people are suffering."

Franz: "Do you know what it is about my investigation that scares her."

Coca: "I don't know."

Franz: "I have no concrete evidence pointing directly at her."

Coca: "Like I said I don't know anything about that. I just know she said she had someone in place to take you out when the need arises."

Franz: "Who?"

Coca: "She didn't say."

Franz: "A hired hitman."

Coca: "No. She said she had someone close to you to take care of it."

Franz: "Close to me."

Franz looked past Coca at Dash on the computer.

Franz: "What I need, Coca, is physical evidence. Money transfers stuff like that."

Coca: "The Priest kept her records. They said in the meeting they have two sets of records. One clean and one dirty."

Franz: "Now that is dirty. If I can get my hands on those books then I can probably find out who Nanny paid to have Charlie killed."

Coca: "Nanny, said she personally handled that herself."

Franz: "When did she say this?"

Coca: "In the meeting."

Franz stared. "Coca, you are going to have to go into witness protection."

Coca: "I can't."

Franz: "If there is a mole in my investigation they are going to know you visited me."

Coca: "I see. I also told Jack that I was going to warn you."

Franz: "That's not good."

Coca: "Jack loves me. He wouldn't tell Nanny."

Franz: "I am not so sure."

Chapter 40: Outside in the Rain

Nanny's limousine pulled up to a man in the rain. The man got in—Jack Daniels.

"Drink, Jack?" Nanny asked.

"Uhhh! Not right now. I hear you make a deadly mix."

Nanny and Vagina Nazis laughed.

"Coca went to Franz Nero."

Jack: "God damnit. I told her to shut the fuck up."

Nanny: "You shouldn't have brought her to our meeting. You know she doesn't have the heart for murder."

Jack: "Let me deal with her."

Nanny: "No! Jack! I will deal with her now. You stay away from her or I might start suspecting you."

Jack: "Nanny the bodies are already piling up."

Nanny: "That pile is about to get a lot higher. I feel a purge coming on."

Jack: "What's the plan?"

Nanny: "You just keep your head down. I will need you in the end though. There are going to be a lot of loose ends to tie up."

Chapter 41: Franz's Office

Coca, Franz, and Dash sat around the desk.

"The Nazis promised to give me the dirty book in return they get Cocoa," Franz said.

Coca: "If the Nazis get me, I am surely dead."

Franz: "I promise you that I will not let them have you. But I need the dirty book."

Dash: "I will keep you at my side. I promise you."

Coca: "Okay! If you believe that this is the only way to get rid of Nanny, then I am in."

Franz: "If we only knew who the killer was I could stack the deck in our favor but there is no telling who they are?"

Dash: "Don't worry, Franz. I got your back. If you take a bullet it is has going to come through me first."

The phone rang. Franz picked up.

"Hello. Okay! But you don't get the girl until I look through the books to see if you are telling the truth. Where we going to meet? Crimson Alley right off Scarlet Street. Okay! I will be there with girl and my partner. He's my partner of course he is coming. We will be there."

Franz hung up.

"Where is the drop off?" Dash asked.

Franz: "Crimson alley."

Coca: "That is prime Nazis territory."

Dash: "Looks like whoever plans to knock you off, Franz, is going to be of eastern bloc heritage."

Franz: "We can't assume that. Profiling people is wrong and I will not go there."

Dash: "What if I am right?"

Franz: "Then you are right. I hope you are. But you don't get an attaboy for it."

Chapter 42: Franz's Car

Franz's car zoomed down the street. Coca in back, Dash in passenger, recording.

"What you recording," Franz asked.

Dash: "My thoughts. I like to remember my thoughts before we go out on a raid or an investigation or even something like this."

Franz: "You getting a little jittery?"

Dash: "A little but no different than any other case we have worked on."

Franz: "I sense we are getting close to the fire. The object here is not to get burned."

Chapter 43: Inside Franz's Car Outside of Crimson Alley

They sat silently, staring at Crimson Alley where a sign read "DEAD END."

"Dash here are the keys. At the first sign of trouble get the fuck out of here and get Coca out of town. Can I trust you?" Franz said.

Dash: "Yes."

Franz: "Now stay with the plan. Whatever happens don't come looking for me. I will come get you guys. If I don't come you know it is a lie."

Franz got out, walked into the night toward Crimson Alley. Dash and Coca watched as he was swallowed by darkness.

"He is going to get himself killed," Coca said.

Dash: "Yeah! I am not going to set here and just let that happen though."

Coca: "What you going to do?"

Dash: "You stay close to my side. We will Make our way slowly down the alleway so I can cover Franz."

Coca: "You got a gun?"

Dash: "We aren't allow to carry guns, but yeah, I do. I got it online."

Dash and Coca got out, headed toward the alleyway.

Chapter 44: End of Crimson Alley

A light shone on the Nazis at the end of Crimson Alley. Franz walked into the light.

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't make it," Nazis said.

Franz: "I wouldn't miss this for the world. So where are they?"

Nazis: "Who?"

Franz: "Your friends? The Vagina Nazis. They here to kill me when I give you Coca."

Nazis: "I don't know what you are talking about."

Franz: "I have been marked for death but Nanny. You don't think I know this isn't a set up to have me killed."

Nazis: "She hasn't mentioned it to me."

Franz: "So you really want to sell her out."

Nazis: "I think it is time for a new Mayor and me bringing Coca to her will keep me in her favor until you are finished with your investigation."

Franz: "Then let me see the dirty book."

The Vagina nazis pulled out the dirty book. Franz studied it.

"This is what she made in black market cigarette sells. This is her liqour asset she has set up with Jack Daniels. She is planning to control caffeine, sugar, salt, and all the things that are bad for us but make us happy."

Franz: "Shit! She has made enough money to buy this city."

Nazis: "She has bought the city. You see I am on the up and up now."

Franz: "I see you are. Why don't you just let me have this, Drago, and I can put you in witness protection."

Nazis: "Are you fucking with me. I can take care of my self. Now I have lived up to my end of the bargain, now give me the girl."

Franz: "I didn't bring her."

Nazis: "You son of a bitch. What do you mean..."

A can kicked. Franz and Drago turned. Dash and Coca stepped into the light.

"Dash! I told you two to stay in the car," Franz said.

Coca: "You need someone to watch your back, Franz."

Drago: "What good is a gunless cop going to do?"

Dash pulled a gun, cocked it.

"So it was you all along," Franz said.

Dash: "Franz, you know that Nanny likes to keep a close eye on her city."

Drago laughed. "Oh! I see. Nanny said she had someone close who was going to kill you Nero when the time arose. I never knew it would be your beloved partner. So go ahead Detective and kill this motherfucker so we can get this girl to Nanny and move on with our lives."

Dash pointed the gun, fired.

Drago clenched his chest, fell.

" Dash! Put the gun down. We can get Nanny, now. I have the books."

Dash: "Franz, those books aren't real. They are fake. I am sorry but I have a job to do and you can't walk out of this alleyway alive tonight."

Franz: "She will come after as well."

Dash: "I know. But that is why I have been recording everything in hopes someone will eventually do the right thing."

Dash clicked the hammer.

Coca: "Dash! You can't."

Franz: "Don't cry over my spilled blood. At least I give it doing the right thing."

Dash: "Your first and only mistake you ever made as a detective."

Franz: "Smart cops don't last long on the streets of Shady Oaks."

Dash: "No they don't."

Dash pulled the trigger twice. Franz fell backward against the wall, slid down, took his last breath, leaned over, dead.

Dash walked to Nazis, leaned down. "Where are the real books?"

Drago: "In my safe at home. It is hidden behind the Walter Anderson painting."

Dash: "Thanks."

Drago: "Do the right thing with then."

Dash: "I will try."

Drago took his last breath.

Dash stood, looked at Coca crying.

"You are a monster, Dash. And I trusted you."

Dash: "I can't help that you have bad taste in guys."

Coca: "What now. Am I next?"

Dash: "Yeah."

Two more shots rang out.

Chapter 45: The Nazis Office

Dash entered, pulled down the painting, opened the safe, pulled out books. Two copies. He put one in a package, the other in a book bag. Grabbed kerosene, poured it as he headed out.

Chapter 46: Outside Vagina Nazis

Dash sat in darkness, watching the house burn.

Chapter 47: Post Office

Dash dropped the package in the mailbox, left.

Chapter 48: Nanny's Office

Dash entered; Nanny and secretary smoked cigarettes. He put the books on her desk.

"Is that everything?" Nanny asked.

Dash: "That is everything in the Nazs safe."

Nanny: "Shred these."

Secretary shredded them.

"Is that all you needed me for?" Dash asked.

Nanny: "Why don't you stay and have a drink with us."

Dash: "I had a long night, Mayor. So I will pass if you don't mind. Maybe another time."

Nanny: "Take the rest of the day off, Dash. I will let the police chief know."

Dash: "That sounds great."

Dash left. Nanny got on the phone.

"I think it is time to tie up that loose end."

Chapter 49: Dash's Apartment

Dash sat alone, TV off. Knock at door.

"It's open."

Door opened—Jack Daniels.

"Don't just stand there, Jack. Come on in and set right down."

Jack sat. "You look terrible, Dash."

Dash: "I still look better than you."

Jack: "How about a drink?"

Dash: "I would love it."

Jack poured, gave Dash his.

"Bottoms up."

Dash drank quickly.

"I never realized you were a hitman."

Jack: "I just do it part time. How about another drink."

Jack poured.

"How do you plan to do it?" Dash asked.

Jack: "A little drunk driving incident shouldn't raise to many questions. Or maybe it will read like this in the morning, Cop kills three including partner then drives into a tree, killing himself."

Dash: "That last little bit really hits the reader. They will love it."

Dash pulled out his gun, sat it on the table.

"Did you fire all the bullets?" Jack asked.

Dash: "There all fired up."

Jack: "Well drink up. We haven't got all day."

Dash took the bottle, drank it down, set it hard.

"I am ready now."

Chapter 50: Dash's Wreck

At the wreck, policemen worked. Inside, two dead bodies—one slugged in head, one broken neck.

"Has the body been positively identified," Chief of Police asked.

Cop #3: "Yes sir. It is Detective Dashing Fellows."

Chief: "Whose the second body?"

Cop #3: "Jack Daniels."

Chief: "Interesting. I wonder who got paid to shoot who?"

Chapter 51: Attorney General

The recording ended.

"I have left you all the evidence I had in this package."

AG: "So what do you think?"

Lawyer #1: "Interesting. Mayor Bloom sounds real dirty."

AG: "Do you know what sort of connections she has?"

Lawyer #1: "She is huge donor to many elections, including yours?"

AG: "Oh! Well we have to do the jobs we were put in this office to do."

Lawyer #1: "And that is."

AG: "Protect our own. Burn that file and everything associated with then send Mayor Bloom that we received the file and did away with it and we thank her for her loyal service to our campaigns."

Lawyer: "How about we have a drink."

AG: "To what?"

Lawyer #1: "To America."

They poured, clinked, watched the file burn. "To America" they cried, sipping alcohol.

The End3.2s